Tomorrow will be one month since my dad’s passing and for better or worse, a lot has happened within this past month. I’m still trying to find my closure with dad’s sudden passing, but my heartache is not so immobiliziing now.
Oh, by the way ~ I wanted to say “Thank You” to whomever sent me 2 unusual gifts. Your timing couldn’t have been more perfect…a week after my dad’s passing. You have no idea how badly I needed to laugh, so “Thank You”.
I’ve been trying to slowly accept a dream I was having the morning my dad passed. I was literally in the middle of this dream when my brother called to give me the news of our dads passing. I seem to have this ability to sense, and feel those that I love and have a strong bond with. I also receive visits from those whom have crossed over, they come to me in my dreams.
The morning of my dads death, I was having a dream where I could feel my dads presence but I did not see him. The presence of my dad was so strong but so was the feeling that he was being taken away from me.
I will come to love this dream, but right now my heart is hurting.
It’s been quite some time since I have really blogged anything. Since going on the Accutane back in September, my health has been up and down with all the crappy side effects. Even after I went off the Accutane back in October due to complications from the medication, I’m still dealing with some lingering effects. My body and mind are so fatigued that it really takes too much energy to think let alone blog what is on my mind. I try to keep people informed on my Facebook, but even then, I only share the cliff notes version.
I’m hoping to find out here in the next few days about my B-12 levels and what to do going forward. My 6 month mole mapping with my skin cancer doctor is next week. She has already told me that I will be having a few moles removed that she saw at my last check up in January.
I’m still doing my water aerobics, but have missed several days due to my health. Hopefully I will be back on track again and living a productive life and blogging about it. Be patient with me and check back often. I will get back to regular blogging, but for now I’m doing the best that I can.
Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening. I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen. How I respond to them defines my character. It defines the quality of my life. I can chose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can chose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have; LIFE itself.
As I wait for my biopsy results to come in, I am overwhelmed with anxiety, fear, and stress. I know whatever the outcome is, I am in the Lords arms. The Lord has been with me every step of the way in my life, sometimes carrying me when I’ve been too weak to walk.
I am one who strives everyday to be the best that I can be (no, I’m not in the Army). To not let my emotions of anger or fear take over, but rather learn whats behind them. Once you have an understanding, you can then turn those emotions into peaceful emotions such as love and trust. The key to being a grounded person is realizing the power of acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, understanding, and higher–level thinking.
Stress is a factor in everyone’s life. Each burden you carry is an opportunity for growth—carry yours with grace and dignity.