♥ Limbo

Being in limbo is the worst place to be in any situation.  When you are waiting for a biopsy report, it can seem like an eternity.  I am currently waiting on a biopsy report on this hard black spot that I found inside a mole. 

This mole is only 2cm from my Stage 1A Invasive Melanoma scar and about 2 inches from the actual tumor site.  Making this a possible local recurrent Melanoma. 

When I spotted this black speck inside of a mole I’ve had for years, I thought maybe it was a dried up blood clot or an ingrown hair or even a splinter.  But, when I ripped the top off this slightly raised mole and tried to pull the black spot out, it was attached like it had a root.  It also was hard as a rock and did not move.  The top of this black spot seemed to be crater like, possibly ulcerated. 

I’ve been trying like hell to remain positive and upbeat about this, but the longer it takes to get the results the deeper my fear grows.  Back in July I tweeted about a gut feeling I had that wouldn’t go away.  My gut feeling was I will be fighting a long and hard battle soon (referring to my skin cancer).  I am praying that I am wrong.  

I am not a doctor nor a pathologist, but this black spot looks ominous to me.  If this thing is a Melanoma, it will be my 3rd one in 3 years.  My first one was in 2009, and my 2nd one in 2010. 

All I can do right now is pray that I caught it early. 

Staging
Revised 2002
Also of importance are the “Clark level” and “Breslow’s depth” which refer to the microscopic depth of tumor invasion.
Melanoma stages:

Stage 0: Melanoma in Situ (Clark Level I), 99.9% Survival

Stage I/II: Invasive Melanoma, 85–99% Survival

    T1a: Less than 1.00 mm primary tumor thickness, w/o Ulceration and mitosis < 1/mm2
    T1b: Less than 1.00 mm primary tumor thickness, w/Ulceration or mitoses ≥ 1/mm2
    T2a: 1.00–2.00 mm primary tumor thickness, w/o Ulceration

Stage II: High Risk Melanoma, 40–85% Survival

    T2b: 1.00–2.00 mm primary tumor thickness, w/ Ulceration
    T3a: 2.00–4.00 mm primary tumor thickness, w/o Ulceration
    T3b: 2.00–4.00 mm primary tumor thickness, w/ Ulceration
    T4a: 4.00 mm or greater primary tumor thickness w/o Ulceration
    T4b: 4.00 mm or greater primary tumor thickness w/ Ulceration

Stage III: Regional Metastasis, 25–60% Survival

    N1: Single Positive Lymph Node
    N2: 2–3 Positive Lymph Nodes OR Regional Skin/In-Transit Metastasis
    N3: 4 Positive Lymph Nodes OR Lymph Node and Regional Skin/In Transit Metastases

Stage IV: Distant Metastasis, 9–15% Survival

    M1a: Distant Skin Metastasis, Normal LDH
    M1b: Lung Metastasis, Normal LDH
    M1c: Other Distant Metastasis OR Any Distant Metastasis with Elevated LDH

Based Upon AJCC 5-Year Survival With Proper Treatment

 

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